- List a few common items that can always be found in your fridge. Chicken breasts, milk, cucumbers, water with slices of lemon and cucumber, yogurt, Diet Pepsi
- What kind of milk do you drink? whole
- Do you prefer fresh or frozen vegetables? I prefer fresh but I keep bags of Birds Eye veggies on hand to toss together quick meals with a lean protein
- What do you currently have to drink in the fridge? Water, milk, Diet Pepsi
- How often do you clean out your refrigerator? Every 2 weeks or so
- What’s the healthiest thing in it right now? Fresh baby spinach
- What’s the most unhealthy thing in it right now? Some Ghiradelli PB filled chocolate squares - luckily the boys will eat them first
- What do you wish you had in it that you don’t have now? Nothing
- How often do you shop for groceries? I shop for groceries a few times a week.
- What’s the weirdest thing in your fridge right now? A large ham bone - for the dogs to gnaw on
Monday, June 27, 2011
FMM
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Pros & Cons
Pros
Weather getting warmer, and Spring is just 15 days away. W00t! And it's the WEEKEND, baby!Cons
Weekend is finally here. What a fucking week. The five day work week following a short vacation week, always feels suuuuper long. On Thursday my co-teacher informed me that he'd be out the next day. My first thought, "FUUUUUCK". Luckily, the shadow we hired for the new student volunteered to stay after he was done for the day. He's new and phasing in, so he's there from 9 a.m. - 11 a.m., and the school day runs from 9 - 1. It's a good thing she did because *shockingly* despite a day's notice, the school had no plans to supply me with any support. And to top off the day, the owner informs me that she's made an appointment that conflicts with the new student's services meeting. A meeting she needs to attend so that she can advocate for services to be approved so the new student has support in school. Awesome. Either me or my coteacher will need to go. Shit like that makes me see red. Neither of us has the wealth of experience and knowledge that the owner has with advocating for services. He NEEDS these services, and we were notified of the meeting weeks ago. Talk about dropping the ball. SMH!
I was going to use this space to rant about spoiled puppies, wrestling dead things from dogs, and having to spend the morning chasing after people via email but I guess that was bothering me more.
Oh! And just to end on a high note, I was lucky enough to win 100 days of training with a Professional Running Coach. Pretty sweet, eh?
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Back From My Hiatus?
Hmmm. Seems like forever since I last posted. I've been busy, but mostly busy being stressed, hiding from life and eating. Haven't been too busy for that! Over the last few weeks it fee;s like I've been living day to day, waiting for something to break. But, what?
Work is busy but I'm not really giving it my all. Between late payrolls, spotty communication from the owner, high staff absence and now a new student with lots of special needs, I've been just getting through each day. Haven't been taking daily observation notes, it's been a month since I've written a newsletter, and I haven't done any paperwork in the Office. Haven't made good on my resolution to start reading up on Child Development either.
Once the day is over, I barely have the energy or the impetus to do any more than stumble home, watch TV and eat. And hooo boy, have I eaten. I'm scared to get back on that scale and see how much damage I've done. All the compliments I had been receiving have slowly died off and my jeans are a little snugger.
Still, I remain optimistic that I slipped but regained my balance. Started off today with a vow to drink more water, and I've managed to get in 8 glasses. Tracked my eating too, which probably by virtue of tracking was better than usual.
The last few weeks may not have been perfect but that's no excuse to jump completely off the wagon. Game (back) on, baby!
I'm sooo happy to be off for a 4 day weekend. Need to recharge my batteries big time!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Keeping Clean, and Natural
Scrambled egg/whites, with Salsa, and avocado on an Arnold's 100 Calorie Sandwich Thin. Super Good and filling! Very reasonable in terms of calories and fat.The keeping clean would be my eats. I'm not on a training diet or elimination or detox plan. Just a "binge free, include as many whole, healthy foods while maintaining a deficit" plan.
This yummy sandwich was by brunch today:
The natural is a planned trip to Earthlight Natural Foods. There I am hoping to find some steelcut oats, shea butter and other goodies.
Tonight, I will be preparing Hummus Stuffed Chicken Breasts, with homemade garlic hummus. Yummers!
Plus, the usual laundry and cleaning, and today I am definitely going to get in some Your Shape on the XBox.
What does your Sunday look like?
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Chicken or the Egg?
That title will make sense soon.
For the past few days I have been slowly slipping off plan. Yesterday was a day of awakening though. The morning started off in a rush, and despite getting to work early (or because - I don't have a great appetite early in the morning), I ate a bagel with egg whites and cheese for breakfast. Not awful, no but not diet friendly per se, either.
After work my boss asked me to join her for lunch. We stopped by the local pub for a late lunch. I'm proud to say that despite being at the pub AND having a free drink chip in my pocket, I ordered a Diet Coke with Lemon. Awesome. The not so awesome? French fries! Granted, I split an order with my boss, and a Grilled Chicken Sandwich, but it was the second day in a row that I had fries for lunch.
Still, not so bad though. Then came the evening. I made my usual commute to PA on the bus, and the ex and I stopped off to grocery shop at Walmart. Got home and heated up a frozen pizza for the kids. Yeah, right. Had myself a nice big slice PLUS a bag of Pretzel M&Ms, PLUS some cookies (like 6), PLUS nibbling on Chipotle Tortilla chips while the Pizza heated. Woke up this morning feeling like CRAP.
It occurred to me that I have been doing some serious stress relief with food. Desperate to reward myself for the crap week I had, I forgave more and more nutritionally empty foods, until it was a bit out of control.
And it occurred to me, which came first? Was I in a terrible, stressed out mood first, or did I start starving my body of nutrient rich food first? Most likely it was a cycle. A crappy day led to poor choices, led to worse moods, led to... But if I had taken a crappy day and used it to nurture myself with tasty, nutrient rich foods and a good workout, could that cycle have been shortened? I spent the entire short work week in an awful mood. I was short tempered, experienced terrible mood swings, snapped at everyone (and then felt awful about that) and exhausted.
I forgot a few truths
1) Working out may be good for you, but it also makes me feel so much better. I have more energy and handle stress better. Plus, I stay warm instead of shivering all the time.
2) When outside forces stress me, I NEED the support of good food to fight the stress. Not tasty junk but food that will give me energy and fuel my body.
So, today has been much better. I ate much healthier
took a nice walk with Jett and am doing a bit of a fun workout this evening, courtesy of Kinect Your Shape
I also have begun to realize that success on this plan cannot be casually won. It will require planning, contemplation, and a few stumbles along the way. It's not one which I will be taking on lightly.
For the past few days I have been slowly slipping off plan. Yesterday was a day of awakening though. The morning started off in a rush, and despite getting to work early (or because - I don't have a great appetite early in the morning), I ate a bagel with egg whites and cheese for breakfast. Not awful, no but not diet friendly per se, either.
After work my boss asked me to join her for lunch. We stopped by the local pub for a late lunch. I'm proud to say that despite being at the pub AND having a free drink chip in my pocket, I ordered a Diet Coke with Lemon. Awesome. The not so awesome? French fries! Granted, I split an order with my boss, and a Grilled Chicken Sandwich, but it was the second day in a row that I had fries for lunch.
Still, not so bad though. Then came the evening. I made my usual commute to PA on the bus, and the ex and I stopped off to grocery shop at Walmart. Got home and heated up a frozen pizza for the kids. Yeah, right. Had myself a nice big slice PLUS a bag of Pretzel M&Ms, PLUS some cookies (like 6), PLUS nibbling on Chipotle Tortilla chips while the Pizza heated. Woke up this morning feeling like CRAP.
It occurred to me that I have been doing some serious stress relief with food. Desperate to reward myself for the crap week I had, I forgave more and more nutritionally empty foods, until it was a bit out of control.
And it occurred to me, which came first? Was I in a terrible, stressed out mood first, or did I start starving my body of nutrient rich food first? Most likely it was a cycle. A crappy day led to poor choices, led to worse moods, led to... But if I had taken a crappy day and used it to nurture myself with tasty, nutrient rich foods and a good workout, could that cycle have been shortened? I spent the entire short work week in an awful mood. I was short tempered, experienced terrible mood swings, snapped at everyone (and then felt awful about that) and exhausted.
I forgot a few truths
1) Working out may be good for you, but it also makes me feel so much better. I have more energy and handle stress better. Plus, I stay warm instead of shivering all the time.
2) When outside forces stress me, I NEED the support of good food to fight the stress. Not tasty junk but food that will give me energy and fuel my body.
So, today has been much better. I ate much healthier
took a nice walk with Jett and am doing a bit of a fun workout this evening, courtesy of Kinect Your Shape
I also have begun to realize that success on this plan cannot be casually won. It will require planning, contemplation, and a few stumbles along the way. It's not one which I will be taking on lightly.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
7 Day Chip
Inspired by Brad Ginsberg's blog, I have decided to actually starting using this blog, and post about my progress on The Seven Day Chip.
It's a pretty simple idea. Using the concept of motivational tools (a chip for milestones toward reaching goal), support, and accountability, you can move towards your goal. For the purposes of his blog, Brad created the 7 Day Chip and 30 Day Chip.
I started the 7 Day Chip on December 24th, 2010, and earned my chip on the 31st. From there I moved onto the 30 Day Chip. Somewhere between Day 8 and yesterday, I slid. Not a full binge, not yet, but definitely less thoughtfulness, less awareness and more "ehh, good enough".
So, starting today, I restart!
Eats:
1 egg fried in 1 tsp coconut oil
2/3 cup of black beans
1/2 ounce of shredded cheese
2 coffees both with 3 sugars and cream - BAD, but we have no milk besides cream, and are iced in!
Planned Lunch
Plain yogurt w/ Pineapple (canned in juice)
Planned Dinner
Tuna with Cauliflower
Beets
Skinny Cow sandwich
Aaaaand, now the really scary (for me) part....PICS!
It's a pretty simple idea. Using the concept of motivational tools (a chip for milestones toward reaching goal), support, and accountability, you can move towards your goal. For the purposes of his blog, Brad created the 7 Day Chip and 30 Day Chip.
I started the 7 Day Chip on December 24th, 2010, and earned my chip on the 31st. From there I moved onto the 30 Day Chip. Somewhere between Day 8 and yesterday, I slid. Not a full binge, not yet, but definitely less thoughtfulness, less awareness and more "ehh, good enough".
So, starting today, I restart!
Eats:
1 egg fried in 1 tsp coconut oil
2/3 cup of black beans
1/2 ounce of shredded cheese
2 coffees both with 3 sugars and cream - BAD, but we have no milk besides cream, and are iced in!
Planned Lunch
Plain yogurt w/ Pineapple (canned in juice)
Planned Dinner
Tuna with Cauliflower
Beets
Skinny Cow sandwich
Aaaaand, now the really scary (for me) part....PICS!
Decisions, decisions...
My arch...nemisi...?
Ha. However you phrase it, I hate making decisions. I try to coax myself along by acknowledging that not making a decision is, often times, still making a decision. It just narrows your options. Still hate them. Especially when I'm not in synch with others on the timeline. Or of course, when my decisions depend on others, or can only be done at a certain time, it's super frustrating.
OK, I promise this will make sense soon!
For the past 3 (Jeebus, has it really been that long?!) years, I've been living like a broke college student, or transient, depending on when you asked me, or who you asked. First, bunked at my job, then when I couldn't stand that, I moved to my parents' couch on the weekdays, and my kids' couch on the weekends. For many reasons, this situation is not ideal. I'm eternally grateful to have parents who allow me to stay at their place, rent free, but it's not a perfect solution for anyone involved. But for now, it's where I am, and I'm making it work.
I've also been working at the nursery school for 3 years. Since then things have slowly gone downhill. Finances are very, very, very tight. Late payrolls and eviction notices are becoming the norm. It's scary. On top of that,my boss is having a life crisis, and subsequently has not been the manager she needs to be. Don't get me wrong, I am not positive I could do better. But clearly, something needs to change. I still love this school, but it's becoming a source of more stress than joy, and quickly.
Clearly, something needs to change.
I started thinking about this seriously last year, on my trip to Trinidad in March. I need a change. For one thing, I need a place to call my own. A room would be fine. At least to start. I also need a job that I can count on. I know that the economy is tight, and even when things are great, nothing is permanent or promised. But, knowing that the likelihood of not getting paid is higher than getting paid, is extremely depressing and scary
Of course, leaving and either hating my new job or losing it, is scary too. I'm comfortable here, and even though some things drive me crazy, it feels like home. It's scary and difficult to think about changing this.
Which is exactly why I must make these changes.
I've got a few alternatives, depending on a few people's choices. The ideal(ish) situation is for me to move back in with the kids and the ex to move out. I'd have to get my driver''s license and a job within a reasonable commuting distance. I've discussed it with the ex, and he's mostly on board. He has a few issues and fears of his own, of course, this would be a big change for him as well. It also depends on his Dad. It is his house, and he may not be down with the switch. It's not that it's never been discussed, but always in the hypothetical way. Things change when they get real and immediate.
Another alternative is to find a new job and place to live. I could either pick a place a) close to the kids so I can see them when as often as we want, or b) a place completely new and exciting with the hopes of starting fresh. Both have their allures and downfalls.
Choosing near the kids would allow me to see them often. But, let's face it, this area is kind of dullsville and socially it'd be a bit stunting. Dating in the area is not choice, and just finding fun things to do that don't include drinking or eating lots of crappy, fatty food is difficult. I have heard good things about Bethlehem, PA though. And there are lots of daycare options here. We'll see.' I also have friends who live on the West Coast who have offered to help me find a new job and place. Some even offering a couch to sleep on while I get settled, or interview for area jobs. On my list are somewhere in Northern Cali, Arizona, and Seattle. I do want to spend some time in Europe as well but that may have to wait. I mean, flights are expensive!
A big downfall is that if I did find my own place and a new job, I most likely wouldn't be able to support the house the way I do now. I have mixed feelings about that. I mean on one hand, my kids live there and I should be supporting them. On the other hand, if it's decided that I can't (for whatever reason) live there, and my ex continues to live there, I resent being the one supporting them. I mean, why can't he take a turn? I've been the main bread winner for most of the kids' lives. I think it's about time that their father takes a turn. And if his Dad decides he wants him there, then maybe it's on him to make support a stipulation in the deal. I'm not saying that I don';t want to help my kids, and I always will in anyway I can, but that the money simply won't be there if I move.
There are things I need to do to make these changes possible. Some of them, like going back to school or applying for a new job, depend very much on which way this decision goes, and since it's not mine to make alone, I'm stuck. Gives me LOTS of time to ruminate and while some deliberation is good, too much? Is not a good thing.
Hurry up and wait!
PS - Speaking of weight (wait ha ha), I've lost 9 pounds since I restarted losing weight. W00t!
Ha. However you phrase it, I hate making decisions. I try to coax myself along by acknowledging that not making a decision is, often times, still making a decision. It just narrows your options. Still hate them. Especially when I'm not in synch with others on the timeline. Or of course, when my decisions depend on others, or can only be done at a certain time, it's super frustrating.
OK, I promise this will make sense soon!
For the past 3 (Jeebus, has it really been that long?!) years, I've been living like a broke college student, or transient, depending on when you asked me, or who you asked. First, bunked at my job, then when I couldn't stand that, I moved to my parents' couch on the weekdays, and my kids' couch on the weekends. For many reasons, this situation is not ideal. I'm eternally grateful to have parents who allow me to stay at their place, rent free, but it's not a perfect solution for anyone involved. But for now, it's where I am, and I'm making it work.
I've also been working at the nursery school for 3 years. Since then things have slowly gone downhill. Finances are very, very, very tight. Late payrolls and eviction notices are becoming the norm. It's scary. On top of that,my boss is having a life crisis, and subsequently has not been the manager she needs to be. Don't get me wrong, I am not positive I could do better. But clearly, something needs to change. I still love this school, but it's becoming a source of more stress than joy, and quickly.
Clearly, something needs to change.
I started thinking about this seriously last year, on my trip to Trinidad in March. I need a change. For one thing, I need a place to call my own. A room would be fine. At least to start. I also need a job that I can count on. I know that the economy is tight, and even when things are great, nothing is permanent or promised. But, knowing that the likelihood of not getting paid is higher than getting paid, is extremely depressing and scary
Of course, leaving and either hating my new job or losing it, is scary too. I'm comfortable here, and even though some things drive me crazy, it feels like home. It's scary and difficult to think about changing this.
Which is exactly why I must make these changes.
I've got a few alternatives, depending on a few people's choices. The ideal(ish) situation is for me to move back in with the kids and the ex to move out. I'd have to get my driver''s license and a job within a reasonable commuting distance. I've discussed it with the ex, and he's mostly on board. He has a few issues and fears of his own, of course, this would be a big change for him as well. It also depends on his Dad. It is his house, and he may not be down with the switch. It's not that it's never been discussed, but always in the hypothetical way. Things change when they get real and immediate.
Another alternative is to find a new job and place to live. I could either pick a place a) close to the kids so I can see them when as often as we want, or b) a place completely new and exciting with the hopes of starting fresh. Both have their allures and downfalls.
Choosing near the kids would allow me to see them often. But, let's face it, this area is kind of dullsville and socially it'd be a bit stunting. Dating in the area is not choice, and just finding fun things to do that don't include drinking or eating lots of crappy, fatty food is difficult. I have heard good things about Bethlehem, PA though. And there are lots of daycare options here. We'll see.' I also have friends who live on the West Coast who have offered to help me find a new job and place. Some even offering a couch to sleep on while I get settled, or interview for area jobs. On my list are somewhere in Northern Cali, Arizona, and Seattle. I do want to spend some time in Europe as well but that may have to wait. I mean, flights are expensive!
A big downfall is that if I did find my own place and a new job, I most likely wouldn't be able to support the house the way I do now. I have mixed feelings about that. I mean on one hand, my kids live there and I should be supporting them. On the other hand, if it's decided that I can't (for whatever reason) live there, and my ex continues to live there, I resent being the one supporting them. I mean, why can't he take a turn? I've been the main bread winner for most of the kids' lives. I think it's about time that their father takes a turn. And if his Dad decides he wants him there, then maybe it's on him to make support a stipulation in the deal. I'm not saying that I don';t want to help my kids, and I always will in anyway I can, but that the money simply won't be there if I move.
There are things I need to do to make these changes possible. Some of them, like going back to school or applying for a new job, depend very much on which way this decision goes, and since it's not mine to make alone, I'm stuck. Gives me LOTS of time to ruminate and while some deliberation is good, too much? Is not a good thing.
Hurry up and wait!
PS - Speaking of weight (wait ha ha), I've lost 9 pounds since I restarted losing weight. W00t!
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